Is Couples Therapy Worth It?
Yes, couples therapy is worth it for many couples, especially when you go in early and both partners are willing to show up honestly. It gives you a structured space to stop repeating the same fight, rebuild trust, and talk about the things you've been avoiding, including sex. If you're searching for "couples therapy near me" in Austin or anywhere in Texas, the right fit matters more than the zip code.
I'm Kaya Spicer, LCSW (Texas) and LICSW (Washington, D.C.), an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Certified Couples Therapist. I've spent 7 years as a sex therapist and a therapist for 10 years. I am an inclusive LGBTQ therapist helping folks the working through sexual concerns, communication breakdowns, intimacy issues, and relational trauma.
So let's talk about it honestly: what couples therapy actually does, what it costs, and whether it makes sense for you right now.
What does couples therapy actually help with?
Couples therapy is not a referee service, and I'm not there to decide who's right. My job is to help you both see the pattern you're stuck in so you can step out of it together.
In my work with clients, the most common reasons couples reach out are:
Communication that keeps turning into the same argument
Sexual concerns, mismatched desire, or a sex life that has gone quiet
Emotional distance or feeling more like roommates than partners
Rebuilding trust after betrayal or infidelity
Old relational wounds that keep showing up in the current relationship
Is couples therapy worth it if you think your sex life is the problem?
Often, yes. Sex is rarely just about sex. It's tied to safety, communication, stress, and how connected you feel day to day.
What I often see in my practice is couples carrying a few beliefs that quietly make things worse. Here are three I hear all the time.
Myth 1: "Sex should be spontaneous"
This one sounds romantic, but it sets a lot of couples up to feel like failures. Spontaneous desire is only one way people experience wanting sex. Sex researcher Rosemary Basson described responsive desire, where wanting sex shows up after closeness and touch begin, not before (Basson, 2000). Her research focused on women, and in my practice I see this pattern in people of every gender.
When couples wait for the perfect unplanned moment, they often end up waiting a very long time.
Myth 2: "Scheduling sex is boring"
I get this pushback a lot, and I love it, because we get to talk about what "boring" really means. Planning a date doesn't make it less fun. It gives you something to look forward to.
Scheduling intimacy can create anticipation, protect time from work and kids and phones, and take the pressure off one partner always being the one to initiate.
Myth 3: "If we're not having sex often, our relationship is doomed"
There is no magic number that proves a relationship is healthy. Frequency matters far less than whether both partners feel heard, wanted, and okay with what's happening.
In my work with clients, the real issue is usually the silence around sex, not the number of times it happens. Once couples can talk about it without blame, things often start to shift.
Does couples therapy work after infidelity?
Couples therapy for infidelity can help, but it asks a lot of both people. The partner who was hurt needs room to feel what they feel. The partner who broke trust needs to stay present, even when it's uncomfortable.
Therapy gives you a structure for those conversations so they don't spiral at 2 a.m. Some couples rebuild something stronger. Others use therapy to separate with more clarity and less damage. Both outcomes can be a form of healing.
Can couples therapy fix communication issues?
Couples therapy for communication issues is one of the most common reasons people come in. Usually, the problem isn't that you don't talk. It's that you talk in a loop: one partner pushes, the other pulls away, and nobody feels understood.
In session, we slow that loop down. Many people find that once they understand what's happening underneath the argument, like fear, hurt, or feeling unimportant, they can respond to each other with more care.
Is online couples therapy as effective as in-person?
For many couples, online couples therapy works well. It's easier to schedule, saves you Austin traffic, and lets you talk from a space where you already feel at home. A study of more than 1,100 married clients found teletherapy was about as effective as in-person couple therapy, though the bond with the therapist grew more slowly online (Bradford et al., 2024). A smaller randomized study found similar results for couples therapy by video (Kysely et al., 2022).
In-person sessions can feel better for couples who want a dedicated space away from home or who struggle to focus on a screen. I offer both, so you can choose what fits your life.
What is the price for couples therapy?
The price for couples therapy varies by therapist, session length, and format. Couples sessions are often longer than individual sessions, and specialized care like sex therapy or intensives is usually priced differently.
In my practice, standard sessions are start at $300.00 for 90 min, and therapy intensives are $3000-4500.00. I'm happy to walk through costs during your free consultation so there are no surprises.
What does working with me look like?
I keep things flexible because relationships don't fit one schedule. Here's how we can work together:
Weekly or biweekly sessions by telehealth anywhere in Texas or Washington, D.C., or in person in Katy, Texas
3 to 4 day therapy intensives in person in Austin, Houston, or San Antonio ( Virtual sessions available)
Intensives are a good option for couples who feel stuck, are short on time, or want focused progress instead of waiting week to week. Expect warmth, honesty, and some laughter. I'll tell you the truth, kindly.
Is this a good fit for you?
Working with me may be a good fit if:
You're an LGBTQ couple, or any couple, wanting a therapist who is affirming and comfortable talking openly about sex
You're dealing with sexual concerns, mismatched desire, or intimacy that has faded
You keep having the same fight and want to understand why
Old relational trauma is showing up in your current relationship
You're rebuilding after infidelity and both of you want to try
Something else may be a better first step if:
There is ongoing violence, threats, or fear of your partner. Individual support and safety planning come first, and couples work can wait.
One partner is actively struggling with untreated substance use or a mental health crisis
Only one of you wants to be there. Individual therapy can still help you get clear on what you want.
If you're in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger.
Frequently asked questions
How do I find a good couples therapist in Austin?
Start by looking for a licensed therapist with specific training in couples work, and in sex therapy if intimacy is part of the struggle. Read their website to see if their values match yours. Most therapists, including me, offer a free consultation so you can get a feel for them before you commit.
How long does couples therapy take?
It depends on what you're working on and how long the pattern has been going. Some couples notice changes within a few months, while others stay longer to work through deeper hurt. I don't promise a timeline, but we'll check in regularly about how it's going and what you need.
Do both partners have to attend every session?
Most sessions include both partners, since the relationship is what we're working on together. Sometimes I may meet with each partner on their own to understand their perspective more fully. If only one of you is ready to start, individual therapy can still be a meaningful first step.
Is couples therapy only for couples about to break up?
Not at all. Many couples come in while things are still pretty good because they want to keep it that way. Coming in early is often easier, since there's less built-up resentment to untangle. Think of therapy as regular care for your relationship, not a last resort.
Can we do online couples therapy if we don't live in Houston?
Yes. I offer online couples therapy for clients located anywhere in Texas and in Washington, D.C. Many couples like joining from home without dealing with traffic, parking, or childcare. If you'd like focused, in-person work, my intensives are held in Austin, Houston,Dallas and San Antonio.
Looking for couples therapy near me? Let's talk.
If you've been typing "couples therapy near me" into Google late at night, that's your sign that something matters enough to look for help. You don't have to have it all figured out before reaching out.
Whether you're in Houston, Dallas, Austin, elsewhere in Texas, or in D.C., I'd love to hear what's going on. Book a free 15 minute consultation and we'll see if we're a good fit. No pressure, just a conversation.
References
Basson, R. (2000). The female sexual response: A different model. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 26(1), 51–65. https://doi.org/10.1080/009262300278641
Bradford, A. B., Johnson, L. N., Anderson, S. R., Banford-Witting, A., Hunt, Q. A., Miller, R. B., & Bean, R. A. (2024). Call me maybe? In-person vs. teletherapy outcomes among married couples. Psychotherapy Research, 34(5), 611–625. https://doi.org/10.1080/10503307.2023.2256465
Kysely, A., Bishop, B., Kane, R. T., McDevitt, M., De Palma, M., & Rooney, R. (2022). Couples therapy delivered through videoconferencing: Effects on relationship outcomes, mental health and the therapeutic alliance. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, Article 773030. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.773030
